FGIncorporated

Why do models have a dA of pictures of themself? I could understand the Photographer having a dA, or if the model had made what she/he was modeling... but when it's a collection of photos from a bunch of different photographers of the model... it just kinda seems like a brag page. shouldn't they be doing that on modeling sites and recruiters sites and stuff, not dA?

I feel like I'm dying.
Last night I think my insanity came back.
It was either that or extreme hopelessness.
It feels like someone close to me passed away and their empty lifeless corpse is always with me. Laying beautifully in a coffin with flowers surrounding them.
Their skin white and cold and rotting.
It's like there's a vacant spot in my heart where someone used to be but got forcably removed and now it will never heal properly.
Like something is permanently missing and I wont ever be able to pacify the emotions it manifests no matter how large or emotion-filled or strong my attempts are.
I feel so vulnerable. So... easily murdered.
I feel like I can't trust myself.
Even though I'm the one person I know I can trust more than anyone else.
I'm scared, for once in my life.
I don't know if this agony will ever end.
I know I can ignore it when need-be.
Like during events I look forward to.
But I can't ignore it for very long.
Otherwise all my emotions will go with it.
And i'll be no better than an ugly mannequin.
If I could make one wish...
It would be to have never been human.
To be anything but human.
I have to keep telling myself that that fairy tale shit only happens in movies.
That this is real life.
And movies are just dreams.
And dreams never come true.
Not for this person.
I hate this feeling.
Its like the empty shell is eating me.
Consuming myself.
Stealing from me my liveliness.
To achieve what?
It wont come back to life.
If I could know just one thing about my future...
It would be if I ever find happiness.
I don't know what to do...
I wish I could just move on.
forget it.
out of sight out of mind.
but I can't...
I'm helpless.

Sooooo.... theres a bit of disagreements between me and a person and one of my good friends told me to spam deviant art asking for critiques and HONEST opinions on my drawings.

so if you would be so kind as to maybe critique a couple or even just one, i will give you a llama and return the favour or something.

pleasepleasepleasepleasepleeeeeaaaaassseeee iloveyou :3

What will happen when my cat/best friend/sole companion/sister/daughter/reason i'm living/heart... dies?
what will happen to me?
Who will be there to comfort me when im crying?
Who will be there for me to take care of?
Who will be there to keep me warm at night?
Who will be there to get into mischief?
Who will be there to play with me?
Who will be there to lay in my lap when I type?
Who will be there to sleep by my side all the time with no exceptions?
Who will be there to look at me with such a beautiful face?
Who will be there to talk to me when I'm alone?
Who will be there to make cute noises for me to hear while they sleep?
Who will be there for me to feel their dreams?
Who will be there for me to snuggle?
Who will be there for me to cuddle?
Who will be there for me to feel their fur?
Who will be there to watch me lovingly with unjudging eyes?
Who will be there to keep me alive?
Who will be there for me to worry about?
Who will be there for me to share everything with?
Who will be there for me to protect?
Who will be there to get in my way but make up for it with adorable looks?
Who will be there for me to hear snore while they sleep?
Who will be there to look at me and say 'everything will be alright' without saying a word?
Who will be there when my heart breaks in two?
Who will be there when theres no one else?
Who will be there to give me wise, knowing looks?
Who will be there to yawn and make cute little noises at the same time?
Who will be there to take pictures of?
Who will be there to radiate pure natural 1000000% beauty?
Who will be there to save me from myself?
Who will be there to save me from others?
Who will be there to save me from the world?
Who will be there to lay on my back while i draw?
Who will be there to listen to me?
Who will be there to make me laugh and smile when no one else can?

Who will be there to understand everything i think, say, and do?
Who will be there to do everything with me?
Who will be there to love me unconditionally?
Who will be my blood, my oxygen, my muscles, my energy, my heart?

How will i live?
Where will i go?
What will become of me when you're not here...The only single being on this planet that understands every single atom of me.
no word or phrase or book or action or thought or picture can describe my feelings for her.
I wont be able to accept it when she's gone.
I wont want to accept it when she's gone.
I'll forever mourn over the loss of her.
If i cant even deal with it now, while she's still here, then how will i ever deal with it afterwards?

Don't go.
Don't leave me.
I need you.

this is not a lie.